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I dated this boy when I was really young, I went through a lot with him and realized he wasn’t any good for me. I gave him everything and I got really hurt by him. I thought I would never get over him, but that changed.
I met a boy my freshman year of high school that I fell head over heels for. I did anything I could to make him happy, to make him love me. I wanted nothing but for him to adore me and to be mine. He made me realize that I could move on and that my past wasn’t important. I thought I was in love and i’d be with him forever. I could see it too.
The problem with our relationship was that I wasn’t really wasn’t the girl for him. No matter how hard I tried to be everything he wanted I just wasn’t it, and I think he resented me for it. He would always dump me with no explanation, call me names, treat me like I meant nothing to him. Although he did all these things I never left, I tried harder and harder for him to love me.
Anytime he broke up with me I attempted to get over him by dating other guys to feel the way I felt about him. It never worked and only made me want him more. But the more he pushed me away the more I tried to find satisfaction with other guys and failed which only caused him to push me away even more.
This year I got back together with the one boy that I thought would change everything. The boy he had stolen me from in the first place. Think it would help me to finally get over him, it didn’t. I left that boy for him once again. Hoping this time would be different then any other time. Because we were ready to have a relationship and love each other unconditionally. He finally began to open up to me which made me love him more and more. My only problem was that I didn’t feel comfortable around him. I was terrified of him hurting me because he always did. I couldn’t open up to him about anything with fear he would use it against me which he usually did. I could not open up to him.
For the first time, I left him. I had realized he wasn’t the boy for me. He didn’t love me for me, he was with me in attempt to treat me how all these other guys did, with no respect. I was nothing to him and I could not accept that until now.
Whenever I see him there is a part of me that still wishes for him to want me the way I wanted him. I still have a part of me that desires his attention and his love. But my mind and my heart both know that it was never meant to be. And I have to remind myself every day of that.
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My ex boyfriend decided to tell me that after I dumped him for another boy that while I was dating this kid he was fucking his sister to get back at me.
…congratulations.
